It’s Monday! You know what that means — another blog post by your favorite comic duo! That would be us (know your place, Tina Knowles and Amy Sherman-Palladino). This weekend, we did something nearly unprecedented. We went into Boston (?????????????). Saturday night, we made the trek to Berklee College of Music to watch the ICCA (International Council of Chemical A$$ociations…wait, no. International Championship of Collegiate A Cappella. There we go.) Northeast Quarterfinals. It was pretty much Pitch Perfect irl. Eight college a cappella groups from the Northeast each performed twelve-minute sets and the top two groups get to compete at Semifinals in March (which we are starting a GoFundMe for, so we can buy tickets).
Along with our best friend Adam, who is also married to Rachel (they accept newlywed congratulations in the form of chicken nuggets and yes this does prove that Rachel believes in love), we came in as Nor’easter SUPERFANS. Seriously, look them up— they’re incredible. Just kidding, we’ll do it for you. Here’s one of our favorites. And another. And another. OK. We’re done. Because we’re lowkey trash, we watched POP TV’s A Cappella reality show, Sing It On, which follows groups competing in ICCA and wondered how people could be so talented AND so good looking at the same time. We still haven’t figured it out. The Nor’easters were our favorite group on the show merely for the drama, drama, drama.
We started off our night by taking Adam to Tenoch for the first time, and had the best tortas ever. We had to fuel ourselves for the long, treacherous journey we would have to take on the Green Line (which is just as shitty as ever!) and went into a mild food coma after this meal. We managed to get to Berklee within 40 minutes and not get lost (Did someone say LOST?). Tbh the emcees at ICCA were our personality dopplegängers. One girl hated Valentine’s Day (*cough* Rachel) and the other one passive aggressively told the audience their applause wasn’t loud enough (*cough* Merilla).
First off, how can people sing and move at the same time? We can rarely hold a conversation while walking without tripping and almost face-planting. Some of the choreography was borderline painful, but when done well (Shoutout to L’Shir), it really worked. Honestly, the two-hour show was us alternating between being completely SHAKEN by how good the groups were and contemplating whether we were this talented at anything. Rachel, who doesn’t know a thing about a cappella, just sat and stared while Merilla, who does know a thing about a cappella, made moans that almost sounded like orgasms when a group “hit a real good harmony.”Do you not know how to harmonize? Don’t trouble yourself any longer! Our good friend WikiHow will help you learn:
Step 1) Know what harmony is.
Step 2) Know what melody is.
Step 3) Repeat steps 1-2 in moderation.
Also, the aforementioned emcees asked the audience to tweet “family-friendly, but hilarious” pick-up lines in honor of Valentine’s Day and that the best tweets would be read aloud. Rachel’s best attempt was “Hey can I F# you?” (she is really proud of this, so if you see her on the street just fake a smile and nod your head). Merilla, on the other hand, googled “funny and family-friendly pick up lines” and sent in “Are you a vegetable? Because you’re a cute-cumber! #ICCA.” Then ten minutes later, the emcees came back and read aloud the best ones. And guess what got called??? The cute-cumber joke!!! But before you get too excited and start to freeze frame into a celebratory jump, IT WASN’T A TWEET WRITTEN BY MERILLA. IT WAS A DUMB DUDE NAMED JEFF. Merilla now has hired a PI to find this “Jeff.” Pfft. If that is his real name.
For your enjoyment, here’s a low-quality video (HIGHEST quality singing) of the Nor’easters performing our favorite song courtesy of Merilla’s phone that is literally being held together by tape (too proud to ask for a parent’s help in fixing a cracked screen = key to adulthood). This experience was like seeing Beyoncé perform but to the negative 20th power. Still a mind-blowing experience.
Oh, also if you cared, the Northeastern Nor’easters got first place, the Harvard Lowkeys got second place, and Rob Kardashian placed last overall (do better next time buck-o).
Stay weird, y’all.