AND….we’re back! This is somehow our last semester at Tufts, and we’re straight up in denial. We consistently joke that we aren’t actually graduating in May, but we’re not even sure it’s a joke anymore. Apparently, after we graduate, we’re going to be thrown into the “real world.” And we’re not talking about the MTV show. Over the break, both of our moms hounded us daily if not hourly, telling us we had to find jobs. Merilla planned to apply to one job per day for two weeks straight, and then give herself a long break. Instead, she applied to one job a month ago, and has been recovering from writing a single cover letter since then. For real, though. Stroking your own ego for an entire page is truly exhausting. If anything this shows how humble and selfless Merilla is. Rachel(‘s parents) wants to apply to the CIA, but she really wants to live her life long dream of tracking down Dan Brown, writer of The Da Vinci Code and Deception Point (but like really HOW did Dan Brown wrote a novel about a woman named Rachel living in Fairfax, VA, when our very own Rachel’s name is Rachel and she was born in Fairfax, VA. I know you’re onto me, Dan Brown). We’re both having trouble navigating this whole adulthood thing, and have a few questions and concerns about how adults live their life. Hopefully, we figure this all out before May, but if not…we’ll just wing it, which we are pretty sure every other adult is doing.
Adulthood Problem #1 | How Does One Cook a Meal?
We consider making a meal with more than three ingredients “Gourmand status,” and split a bottle of wine for dinner more often than we’d like to admit. Apparently, it’s frowned upon to, as a 21-year-old, order bluezones for dinner 3 times a week and make Annie’s Mac n Cheese the other four nights.
Adulthood Problem #2 | Jobs
Every time we write a cover letter, we feel like we’re lying. What we write: “Coding experience in SPSS.” What we mean: “I played ‘Hollaback Girl’ during each of my Psych Stat labs, and was always the last one out because I didn’t take it seriously enough.” Applying for jobs is more exhausting than 30 minutes on the StairMaster (wow that thigh burn), and we’re avoiding both as long as we can.
Adulthood Problem #3 | Housing
We don’t even know where to start. Rachel has literally never lived off campus before. She doesn’t even know how to sleep in a non-twin XL bed.
Adulthood Problem #4 | Taxes
Okay so all we know about taxes is that Jon Hamm talks about them in those H&R Block commercials and we really love us a John Hamm sandwich, so taxes are a good thing?? Someone help us.
Adulthood Problem #5 | Finding a Lifelong Partner
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Love isn’t real. Exhibit A:
Adulthood Problem #5 | Dress Code
Thinking about how leggings and oversized sweaters aren’t appropriate work attire in the real world makes us want to cry. We each own like seven pairs of black leggings and rarely wear jeans unless we feel like suffocating our lower half. We’ll have to start shopping at like…old people stores soon. Banana Republic? LOFT? We’re getting lamer just thinking about it.
Stay weird, y’all.