Hey guys! It’s Rachel here. If you don’t know me or my life, there’s only one thing you need to know – I am living in SoGo this year. For all the non-Tufts people reading this (maybe my mom like 6 months from now) and first-years that are still super clueless, SoGo is the city on a hill that the Puritans were yammering on about. SoGo has everything that you could ever want – a dishwasher, an elevator, an overpriced vending machine. What more could you want?!
But alas, all is not perfect in my world. Because I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING YOU PEOPLE ARE SAYING OUTSIDE SOGO. Seriously. I heard a dude pissing in the bushes a couple nights ago, and I am sincerely hoping some bad luck finds him because that is just disrespectful. Granted, maybe why I can hear y’all so well is because my window doesn’t close and I just put in a facilities order a few days ago. So maybe I wasn’t tackling this situation “proactively”, but maybe I just didn’t want to give up eavesdropping on college students and their drama. Below are some things I’ve heard, and I hope what we learn from all of this is STOP TALKING OUTSIDE MY ROOM GOSH DARN IT.
Some people talking about LOST
Nooooooo No no no NO nO I will not stand for this. I’m currently on season 2 of LOST and know zero spoilers because I am shutting myself off from anything that happened 2004-2010.
Friends talking to other friends and generally having a good time
Lol who are you kidding I know you’re paying for these friends by bribing them with Swedish Fish.
People talking about job opportunities
Typically when this happens I stop being a hermit underneath all my blankets and yell out the window, “Ya same Obama just asked me to be president for him isn’t that awesome!11!”
*Sprinklers turn on at 3am*
I will murder everyone you love, sprinklers. Don’t think that I won’t.
“Oh my god I totally saw Tracy go through my stash of nuts the other day and she won’t even admit it. I can’t believe how entitled she feels just because her tail is bushier than mine.” -Two squirrels talking to each other
What can I say I have a creative imagination.