The Evolution of Becoming a College Grandma

1.) Music anywhere is too loud. Shopping at Forever 21 becomes a total nightmare, and you turn down anyone’s suggestion to dine at The Painted Burro.

2.) The temperature is never right. You bring a cardigan wherever you go to combat this issue.

3.) Preventative tinkling is key—you never know where the next bathroom will be!

4.) You carry small snacks around with you at all times in case you get peckish. (Which you will.) Gotta keep that blood sugar up.

5.) Your purse or backpack always contains Advil, tissues, hand sanitizer, bandaids, etc. in anticipation of any potential roadblocks.

6.) The print is always too small. You don’t want to mistake “potato” for “adobo” on the menu at Tenoch again (lol), so you bring your glasses everywhere.

7.) You find yourself unable to tolerate lactose in any form. One scoop of ice cream and you’re down for the count.

8.) You find yourself reusing plastic baggies, because they’re costly and you hate to be wasteful.

9.) 10:30 p.m. rolls around, and while everyone’s getting ready to go out, you’re ready for bed. In the (tragic) event that you didn’t have your nap, you find yourself unable to rally.

10.) For the final step in your transformation, you realize you’re constantly followed around by cats. It becomes clear where you’ll finally end up—surrounded by fur in the comfort of your own living room, and you’re OK with it.


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