I have a love-hate relationship with The Rez, but even from abroad I find myself missing my classic Lucy in the Chai with soy order (call me “basic,” I’m OK with it). It’s the ~hippest~ coffee shop on campus that everyone should try at least once. Here are the top nine things that happen when you start making pit stops at The Rez.
1. JumboCash.Net Becomes One of Your Most Visited Site
Sadly, nothing is free…not even coffee which, for most of us college students, is pretty much as essential as oxygen. You have to keep your Tufts ID stocked with enough cash to splurge on a $4 drink at The Rez because otherwise you will have waited in that long line for nothing. Speaking of long lines…
2. You Begin To Realize How Far You’re Willing To Go For Coffee
Rarely is the line for The Rez filled with less than five people at any given time. But even when the line reaches numbers like ten or even fifteen, you’ll find yourself willing to be ten minutes late to class if it means you get your daily sugary, caffeinated fix.
3. Your Rez Punch Card Becomes Your Most Valued Possession
You would much rather lose your driver’s license than lose your Rez punch card because being able to get that free drink after you’ve ordered ten drinks >>>>>>>> having a government-approved form of ID. Who knew such a small thing could mean so much?
4. You Learn The Rez’s Off-Peak Hours
It honestly seems like there are never spots at The Rez to study. How do all the seats manage to get filled up for almost the entire day? In order to snag one of the coveted study spots on campus, you have to be smart about it and study The Rez and it’s inhabitants. Once you’ve understood the peak and off-peak hours it operates under, you’ll be able to grab your drink and plop a seat, making all passersby super jealous.
5. Your Money Starts To Mysteriously Disappear
You say you’ll treat yourself to one drink a week. That soon becomes one drink a day. Eventually, you find yourself making multiple trips to The Rez in a day because you’re low-key addicted. You wonder where all your money is going before you realize that you’ve become one of The Rez’s many sugar daddies. Not really sure if that metaphor works but we’re just going to roll with it.
6. You’ll Try Something New And Regret It
One day, you’ll feel a bit spontaneous and want to try something out of your comfort zone. You confidently order the Medford Fog even though you hate Earl Grey tea and instantly regret your choice. Routine is everything. That’s my motto.
7. You’ll Get Your Friends To Join The Movement
There’s nothing quite like swiping your friend’s Rez virginity. “Is it really worth $4 though?” your friend will ask, having never ordered a drink from The Rez. You assure them that it is. The look on their face when they take that first sip of delicious is better than anything you’ll ever experience.
*This may or may not be a severe dramatization.*
8. You’ll Want To Work There
There’s no way I can be the only one who finds that all the baristas at the Rez are ridiculous attractive. Is that part of the job requirement? To just be really nice to look at? Regardless, after a few trips to this beloved on-campus coffee shop, you’ll want to take your turn behind the counter. But then you’ll remember that you can barely walk two feet without tripping over yourself and probably shouldn’t be trusted to walk around with people’s drinks in your hands. #SpillageDanger.
9. You Find “Your Order”
This is probably the peak moment of your experience at The Rez. Sure, maybe ten other people have that same order, but it still feels special once you’ve gone to The Rez enough times that you find your sweet spot. It might be a classic black coffee because you’re ~edgy~ or a Cinny Vanilly if you’re just in it for the sugar rush. Either way, it makes you feel like you’re a part of the Rez community. But you’re not, really. It’s just a college coffee shop. Chill.