So, contrary to popular opinion, I think HBO’s Girls is a really well-done show. Whatever beef you have with Lena Dunham aside, the dialogue is super strong, and each episode is dynamic, often fast paced, and not to mention well written. But, Girls wouldn’t be the show that everyone knows/loves to hate without its cast of well defined, albeit unconscionably narcissistic, characters. So, naturally, when you throw Marnie’s wedding into the mix, tensions run high, personalities clash, and the groom-to-be throws a temper tantrum in a nearby pond. Since I am a fan of the show, as well as someone who can poke fun at its absurd, over exaggerated ways of mimicking life as a “millennial,” I bring you a short synopsis of season five’s first episode.
1. Marnie’s Still A B*tch
Where to even start? We’re all acutely aware of Marnie’s unbearably narrow-minded, selfish, type A personality, so of course she’s going to micromanage her bridesmaids, namely Hannah, Shosh, and Jessa, as well as insult her makeup artist, Hannah’s new boyfriend, etc. et al. However, I did feel a twinge of sadness for her when we learn from Desi’s personal meditation assistant/guru (yeah, you read that right) that he’s been engaged eight times prior to Marnie (he didn’t have a good relationship with his mother, ok?), but then the scene shifts back to Marnie demanding everyone wear something “earthy” in their hair and pouting about how horrible her makeup had come out and the modicum of empathy I felt moments ago is abandoned.
2. Adam and Jessa Are Into Each Other?
We saw early signs of this last season with Hannah’s departure to Iowa, but chalked it up to a friendship type of thing—Adam was taken by Jessa’s DGAF attitude, etc. until they had a run in with the police (public urination, anyone?). Anyways, there must have been something super romantic about Jessa with curlers in her hair, smoking a cig because it seemed like Adam initiated their short lived kiss. Spoiler alert: this isn’t going to go well given the history Adam and Hannah have. That is all.
3. Hannah’s New Boyfriend Is Adorbs
Ugh, Fran. He’s dorky, but just endearingly so. Desi forgets his name and our hearts break for Fran because he just wants to be one of the guys. And he’s a good dresser. And he seems really caring, and in tune with Hannah’s…emotional needs.
4. Ray Maintains His Status as a Boss
I don’t care what anyone says, Ray has been my favorite character for a while now. He’s hilarious, stands by his convictions, and is just that one nutty, left-wing, feminist guy friend we all know and love (75% of the time). Even though he’s still in love with Marnie (because opposites attract, right?), he tries to fix things when Desi gets cold feet—he even jumps into a pond fully dressed in order to convince Desi to go through with the wedding, because “you have to make sacrifices for the people you love.” #teamray
5. Desi Is Still a Jerk
There’s not much to say here, aside from the obvious. Desi’s not super likeable, and for good reason. He takes the brooding musician stereotype to a whole new level, treats Marnie like dirt, and apparently has been engaged eight times before. Oh, and her engagement ring was recycled from his old girlfriend. From the episode’s outset, we see him doing some irritating pre-wedding meditation crap (shirtless), and then he dramatically runs off (still shirtless) and freaks out about his future life with Marnie. Smooth Desi, real smooth. He eventually comes around to the idea of getting married, which is good because the ceremony is literally minutes away.
The episode concludes with Marnie, Jessa, and Shosh running off into the distant field headed for the flower-covered altar, as Hannah stops for a moment behind them and casts a wistful look in the direction of the ceremony, and what we metaphorically assume is Marnie’s future. Shosh looks back and shouts, “Hannah, are you coming?” snapping the viewer, and Hannah, out of whatever “introvert” moment she was enjoying, letting us know that we’re right back in the world of Girls where we left them last season.