A Heartless Woman Reviews Adele

Hey y’all. I, Rachel, will be taking over this assignment today. Also, I want it to be known that I sacrificed my entire Saturday afternoon to do this investigative work. For you—the fans (aka my mom. lol jk even my mom doesn’t read this).

So, everyone is talking about this new hot n’ fresh artist named Adele. Before deciding to dedicate three hours of my life to the goddess that is Adele, here is what I knew: she’s über-talented. But like doesn’t she always sing songs that make you cry? Don’t people typically try to avoid crying? However, I saw her do carpool karaoke with James Corden and she slayed Nicki Minaj’s verse in “Monster” and “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls. I immediately was a fan even though I had never listened to an album of hers in full. The only way to solve this problem was to listen to her albums 19, 21, and 25 back to back to back.

**Fair warning: since I don’t really do “romantic feelings,” I will probably be comparing these songs to Merilla, food, and fictional characters (including but not limited to Hannibal Lecter from Hannibal, Rumplestiltskin from Once Upon a Time, and JD from Heathers).


“Daydreamer” — Aw, Adele is in love that’s sweet. Why do people say she sings about sad things? This is so cute! This opening track to her first album just proves it’ll be nothing but sunshine from here.

“Chasing Pavements” — This song is fire. This is how I feel about my love for Rumple from Once Upon a Time because he’s a horrible person, but I still like him?? And I’m waiting for him to suddenly turn good?? But I know that’s not real?? So should I give him up (everyone goes: YES RACHEL) or should I just keep chasing pavements (everyone goes: Jeez we really don’t want you to, but we know you will)?

“Make You Feel My Love” — Okay so what I figure is this song is about wanting to love someone so much. The only way I relate to this song is when I want to cuddle with my dog, but then he runs away from me.

“My Same” — “I thought I knew myself, somehow you know me more” @Merilla.

“Tired” — How every college student feels about academia.

Overall views: She gives me strong Amy Winehouse vibes. Very jazzy and more upbeat than I was expecting. There were definitely some sadder songs in there, and I’m assuming that’s foreshadowing tracks on 21.

Fav songs: “Chasing Pavements,” “Cold Shoulder,” “Right as Rain,” and “Hometown Glory”


“Rolling in the Deep” —tbh I just got into this song. Yes, I know I’m about four years too late.

“Turning Tables” — When Merilla texts me telling me she wants to eat at Dewick because there are seasoned wedges, then she texts me telling me she wants Carm because of tortellini with sun-dried tomatoes. Then we end up going to Hodgdon for nachos.

“Don’t You Remember” — OK, guys this song made me remember why I initially fell in love with Rumple, so I’m sticking with him. Thanks, Adele!

“Take it All” — I know this song is super sad, but yet I’m not crying? Like I can tell I should be crying, but all I’m thinking about is the pasta I’m gonna reheat after I finish this album.

“Lovesong” — Possibly my favorite song so far. I imagine tangoing to this song with Hannibal Lecter, as we are trying to stay one step ahead of each other, physically (dancing) and mentally (who will kill who first).

“Someone Like You” — When you wait in the line for wings night at Carm and then the girl in front of you TAKES THE LAST OF THE CRUNCHY WINGS. I shed a single tear when this happened to me—Merilla will attest to this. I had to settle for baked wings, and I have never been the same.

Overall views: This album feels way more mature, cohesive, and powerful than 19. Her voice is sheer power. Zero tears were shed listening to this album.

Fav songs: “Rolling in the Deep,” “Turning Tables,” and “Lovesong”


“Send My Love to Your New Lover” — Aw Adele is growing up! I’m so proud of her. Even though I don’t know her. Yalla bye Adele’s ex!

“Million Years Ago” — Me longing for my past, before I fell in love with Hannibal Lecter and we became a tag-team duo with an awesome sex life and questionable morals. (Fun facts: this was the song that hit me the hardest emotionally. Aka I thought about my family for a hot sec, then I returned to eating pasta).

“All I Ask” — Me singing to a Pop-Tart at 4 a.m. next Friday night.

Overall views: This album was my favorite by far. Adele seems to be in a much happier place with this album.

Fav Songs: “Send My Love (to Your New Lover),” “I Miss You,” “Million Years Ago, and “All I Ask”


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