Getting Rejected by Frats

*I do not intend to criticize any Greek life organization on this campus and whine like a brat in this article. I understand that some organizations choose to grant quotas and grant bids for whatever reasons—it’s just a fact of the Greek system.*

We can’t get everything we want. That’s a truth we all have to deal with, and it’s one of the hardest parts of being a human being. We deal with all sorts of obstacles in life, and  we have to do these things called prioritizing and time management that require skill and responsibility. Life can get tough at times, which is why it’s always nice to cut loose every once in a while with a good group of friends and some coke (as in soda).

Coke isn’t even necessary for a good time. Usually a good group of friends can make for a good time. The greatest lesson I’ve learned so far in college is just how important friends are. The ability to make genuine connections is one of the things that makes us human. The beginnings of a true friendship are magical. Even as a guy that’s often exhausted by large social events, I can appreciate shared interests, views, and most importantly shared vibes. It’s how friendships are made. Establishing friendships isn’t easy, but it’s a lot like building a fire. College provides kindling for a friendship to develop into a large flame, but a spark is needed to start the burning. In the metaphysical abstract world, some people see potential fires and others don’t. Over the course of rush week, I tried creating some flames with some brothers and to be honest, I felt good about breaking out of my shell a little and meeting a bunch of great people.

But I guess I wasn’t as good of a butterfly as I hoped I would be. When I wasn’t invited back for a bid event on Friday, it sucked. Rejection hurts. It’s a similar feeling to being rejected by my #1 college. But you know what, I go to Tufts now, and things seem to be working out just fine. I go to a great school, and I’m learning stuff I want to learn. I hate it when people say “Oh, everything will turn out alright in the end” or “Oh, it was meant to be” because fate is a ridiculous concept to me. But I suppose there is some sentiment to get out of it. Life is like a poker hand. It’s only about the cards you’re dealt. The greatest players know how to turn less-than-satisfying hands into great wins. You can gain a lot from just keeping a poker face and adjusting your attitude into making the best calculated risk possible. That’s definitely easier said than done. And it’s also easy for me to have a more positive outlook about this because I’ve gotten a bid from another frat that I’d probably fit better at anyway. But it’s a point I want to make.

It’s better to be a poker player with a short memory. Play every hand to the best of your ability. Getting rejected from a frat doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It means that maybe you didn’t meet the right people or you didn’t come off as charismatic at that moment, or maybe you just didn’t stick to a memory for a fickle reason. Whatever the reason, you are someone who’s interesting and someone who’s got a meaningful story to tell. And the guy with a story means so much more than the guy who did a few keg stands in college (I’ll admit that’s a story too, but there are better ones out there). Everyone’s got a unique story to share so that we can increase human understanding. Learning how one dealt with that feeling of rejection is a great gift to the world. It creates some mental strength. I hope I’m not getting too deep here.

Just to sum things up, I’ll quote a song that’s been on replay the past few days. Flume’s Never Be Like You (ft. Kai) has a line in its chorus that clicks with me. “I’m only human can’t you see.” I probably don’t need someone to “look me in my face, tell me everything’s ok.” I already know I’m ok. I’m pretty good at poker.

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