Today is the saddest and happiest day of our life. For one, this is our last blog post of the year. But, the good news is that #TTM is now officially TCU-recognized as a legitimate acronym. For those of you who aren’t in with the hip lingo, TTM stands for “Time Travel Monday”. This week, we’re throwing it back to the good old days. We like to think we peaked between 8th and 10th grade, and everything just went downhill from there. Rachel was known as the loud ginger without a soul, but after she stole the souls of her friends in exchange for guacamole, she was known as just the loud ginger. Merilla was the weirdo who wasn’t ashamed to be herself. Our embarrassing moments from our youth, in hindsight, have helped shape who we are today. We present to you our most embarrassing moments. Also, make #TTM a thing, because we spent a lot of time thinking of that.
1. Rachel’s Explores Existential Crises in Her Diary
Our love of conspiracy theories runs deep. When Rachel read The DaVinci Code when she was just 13 years old, her life changed forever. She finally became aware of all of the lies that the government was feeding into society, and she demanded answers. Questions like, “Will science save us? Will science kill us?” enraptured her brain day and night. Above is an actual page from her diary (trust us, we couldn’t recreate that handwriting), showing how “con-fuzzling” the world actually is. The inner workings of young Rachel’s mind are an enigma (oo big words).
2. Merilla’s Crush on Chris Brown Goes Too Far, Oprah Gets Involved
Similar to many middle school girls, Merilla went through a Chris Brown phrase. Her room was covered wall to wall in Chris Brown posters from Teen Bop and J-14 magazine. So, naturally, she wanted to meet him, no matter the costs. Her and her best friend at the time devised the perfect plan to meet Chris Brown. They sent a letter to none other than Oprah and pretended that they lived in a box in Illinois. They politely demanded two things: 1. that Oprah would come help them redecorate their box and 2. that they would get to meet Chris Brown. They sent this letter, and for some reason, Oprah never responded. For months, they checked the mail every day, each day finding no letter from Oprah. They were forced to give up their dreams of meeting Chris Breezy and moved on to a Justin Bieber phase.
3. Rachel Wants To Be a Spy
After watching that tv show Totally Spies, Rachel decided she found her true calling of being a spy. She used her middle school campus as a training ground to complete her missions. After many attempts of following people around, one including her and her good friend (still to this day- holla atcha Gittens!) running around a building and then unfortunately colliding into each other, Rachel decided to go viral. All the cool kids were using G-chat, which was like the hipster’s AIM. She infiltrated the system (aka used her friend’s computer when he left the room) to switch the name and profile picture of her and his girlfriend at the time also named Rachel. So our Rachel essentially catfished her friend and pretended to be his girlfriend for gits and shiggles. This was an A+ scheme that even Blair Waldorf would be proud of.
4. Merilla Continues To Make Bad Decisions That Involve Satan
In 10th grade, Merilla had a crush on the brooding, mysterious hipster of her grade. She was able to infiltrate his crowd by inviting herself to Wing Wednesdays, where they would go to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch, even though she was a vegetarian. One day, at Wing Wednesdays, someone suggested that they perform at the local high school’s coffee shop. “But what would we do?” asked Merilla. “How cool would it be if we did some kind of performance art?” said Hipster #1. Merilla knew this was her chance to impress hipster_boy, so she suggested an exorcism. She knew Latin and volunteered to be the priest and suggested that hipster_boy be the one being exorcised, since he was also an actor. They performed the exorcism, to everyone’s shock, with Chopin’s Prelude in E Minor playing in the background. There was holy water, foaming at the mouth, and Bible verse involved. Merilla thought that this would bring them closer and they’d be able to run off into the Satanic sunset together. However, even after their performance, hipster_boy just looked at Merilla as a friend. She was heartbroken, but realized this experience gave her the coolest fun fact ever.
5. Rachel Wants To Be a Gangster (The Spy Thing Didn’t Work Out)
Being a spy didn’t reap the financial rewards that Rachel had hoped, so she moved on to bigger and better dreams: becoming the OG (that means “Original Gourmand”). Everyone’s favorite Tina Fey movie, Mean Girls, was based off of this performance, so you’re welcome, world. You should watch the entire video, but Rachel’s breakout moment is at 0:45.
6. Merilla Starts An A Cappella Group
Things start out a little rocky, but when we really get into the music, the harmonies are on point. We arranged this ourselves and were actually asked to be on NBC’s The Sing Off. We declined the offer, because we were dealing with drama in the group, including and not limited to felonies and murder accusations. Merilla was able to break out and go on a solo tour. Check out her EP available now on iTunes.
Stay weird, y’all.