Aside from bird watching on a weekly basis, we like to spend our time researching how the youths communicate these days. One thing we saw on the internet the other day was this #MCM (we believe you pronounce # as “pound”). At first, we thought this acronym stood for Mild with a Chance of Meatballs, but then we discovered it stood for Man Crush Monday. Unfortunately, this term does not mean crushing the patriarchy, but instead people use it to post pictures of men they find attractive. We decided to share our prime list of men that you can use for all of the hashbrown tags your heart desires.
1. Steve Buscemi
Look at that smolder. That piercing gaze. Steve Buscemi proves that funny guys can be sexy, too. You can catch him selling celery on Portlandia or being the original gangster in Boardwalk Empire. In his free time, he asks us for advice on what material to use for his stand-up. In case you needed more proof that our humor and intellectual musings are…wait for it…legendary. If you like a man that makes you laugh and cry all at the same time, Stevey is your dude.
2. Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo is basically the cartoon equivalent of Erlando Oconomos. On the surface, he’s a cool dude looking for a babe. But deep inside, his soul is desperately looking for love. Fair warning, Johnny Bravo will make his hair a priority over you, but look at the positive side: this means he cares about his hygiene.
3. Joe Biden
We love us a big ole cup of Joe. Quite possibly the classiest man alive, Joe Biden will make you feel loved. He’s also very energetic and competitive: he plays charades with Leslie Knope on a regular basis. With that all aside, he’s the friggin’ Vice President of Florida! That’s a great conversation starter: we’re assuming it would go something like this…
You: “Oh my gosh that VP of Florida Joe Biden is such a dreamboat.”
Total loser: “Don’t you mean the Vice President of the United States?”
You: “Wow, you’re such a total loser.”
If you haven’t seen The Lord of the Rings movies or read the books, you need to get off our our blog, because you are a peasant. Anyway, Sauron…where to start? He is possibly the hottest fictional character in the history of hot fictional characters. His eyes – erm, eye – is super dreamy. He’s so hot, we couldn’t even post a full body picture of him, because most of us mortals could only handle a picture of his hand. You will literally go up in flames if you get really close to him. That is not a joke. If you do not burst into flames or catch on fire, he will probably just kill you himself. Yeah, so he has a ring fetish…don’t we all have quirks? If you need a fiery MCM, he’s your guy.
5. Shia Labeouf
OK, so maybe he’s a cannibal, but aren’t we all a cannibal for something? Shia’s thing is human flesh, ours are potatoes, tomato, tomato, potato, potato. Anyway, Shia’s scruff game is always on point, even though he sometimes looks like a serial killer. Also, you could combine a MCM with a TB (this means throwback in this case, not tuberculosis) and use a picture of him from Holes.
6. Mystery Man
OK, so we saw this guy on the way to the gym yesterday, and knew we had to include him. He can only be described as “Mystery Man”….because we don’t know who he is. We just took a picture of him while pretending to take a Snapchat selfie. Mystery Man travels the Earth as if he owns the place. His confidence is through the roof. Everything he does is magical. We heard through the grapevine that he is an ordinary man by day and a vigilante by night, keeping the cities of Medford and Somerville safe from alien invasions.
Bonus! Conrad Pastore on Halloween
We couldn’t help ourselves. When you’re good friends with a ladykiller like Conrad Pastore, you have to give him a shoutout on a list of the best MCMs. The picture explains it all.
So, there you have it, a potpourri of the best MCMs to choose from. You’re welcome.
Stay weird, y’all.