This spring break, we ventured down south to Tampa, Florida with our best friend, Kate Mieher (she was desperate for a shoutout), to remember what sunshine felt like for an extended period of time. We actually got a lot accomplished. Aside from neglecting all of our school work, we taught an exorcism class to seniors at a nursing home, rode a bull for 45 seconds, arm-wrestled an alligator, and got addicted to a reality TV show, Married at First Sight (Team Jamie and Doug 4evah). Here are our most memorable moments.
The Salvador Dali Museum
We decided to go to the Dali Museum because we wanted to show the world how ~*cultured*~ we are. Check out one of his dope paintings. Is it Abe Lincoln, our vampire hunting president? Is it a naked lady? It is, perhaps, a potato, as Obama has claimed multiple times? The world may never know. Salvador Dali was a 15th century Renaissance painter, but then he was reincarnated as a surrealist artist and part-time tech support guy for Apple in the 21th century. His muse was this really old chick, and Rachel found their love so touching that she literally broke down into tears in the middle of the museum. Merilla proceeded to back away slowly and pretend not to be associated with her.
Rachel: Even though his wife was really old, Dali saw her as the young 40-something year old he fell in love with. That’s true love.
Merilla: Who are you?
The museum also had a new section, which combined Dali and DaVinci’s work. Rachel thought that the painting they had of The Last Supper, which was printed on fabric, was the original. Yikes. We also got to see what the child of Mr. Bean and Mona Lisa would have looked like, thanks to good ole Sal (see Merilla’s crooked photo below). DaVinci was in town on a business trip, so we were able to get him to sign our mugs from the gift shop. Best. Day. Ever.
Universal Studios and Harry Potter World
After explaining to Merilla countless times that Universal Studios is not in fact the same as Disney World, we went on our way to the Holy Grail: Harry Potter World. Once Kate and Merilla heard the theme music, they actually turned into little kids. Kate chanted different spells during the Harry-Potter-themed rides and Merilla whispered, “whee”, throughout. Rachel slowed everybody down because she had to put on sunscreen every half hour (#palepersoninFlorida). Merilla went on her first upside-down roller coaster and only peed herself a little.
Let’s go to the beach, beach
Spring break wouldn’t be complete without a trip to the beach. Merilla was surprised to see that Florida beaches actually had sand as opposed to her Maine beaches full of rocks. The highlight of the day was when our umbrella flew out of the sand and attacked some youths next to us who were sunbathing. We like to keep those reckless youngins on their toes. Rachel curled up underneath the shade the entire day, but somehow managed to get her knees sunburned. While we were all taking a nap, Rachel suddenly woke up in a sweat.
Rachel: Merilla wake up! We have to write our blog this week!
Merilla: *snores* Potatoes are love. Potatoes are life.
Rachel: Eh, I tried. *falls back asleep*
We learned a lot about Florida over this break and it was a week of firsts for all of us. Most importantly, Kate and Merilla learned about the glory that is Publix. The cashier “swiped our Publix virginity” and was really excited about it. Grocery shopping anywhere else just feels wrong now. Publix is much more than a grocery store, it is a way of life for Floridians. We went through at least three gallons of sweet tea in just six days. Merilla lost her voice from screaming so much during her first game of Sorry with Rachel and her brothers. It was the first time any of us had spent 5 hours straight watching Family Feud. Also, we binge-watched the entirety of Unbreakable: Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix (keep on the lookout for our review). Rachel’s biggest accomplishment, however, was getting Kate and Merilla obsessed with Kendrick Lamar.
Merilla: Hey, can we listen to that song, “Backstreet Free Wrap” by Kendrick?
Rachel: What are you even saying? That’s not a real song.
Merilla: “All my life, I want money and parrots.”
All in all, we all learned a lot about each other. Rachel learned that Merilla can literally take a nap anywhere at anytime, while Merilla learned that Rachel can’t park a car and made Kate do it.
Stay weird y’all.